Starting to get a grip

Monday, 20th April 2009
2.30pm

Okay, I've calmed down a little now. It shouldn't have come as such a shock that Noah proposed. I knew he was looking for a wife, I just thought I was off his list of ‘possibles’. Seemed I was wrong.

He likes me, but he doesn't love me - he's quite clear about that. He thinks compatibility and a bit of chemistry is enough at our age. And, I'm surprising myself by not instantly disagreeing with him. I'm so confused.

Entering into a sensible, ‘grown-up’ marriage just isn't me. I wouldn't be the woman Rob fell in love with if I became a kind of woman who did that.

Oh, wake up and look in the mirror, Grace! You're not a carbon copy of Rob's bride anymore. You're his widow. A woman with little wrinkles setting up in residence around her eyes and on her forehead. And you've been Rob's widow for close to 20 years. Perhaps it's time to become something else.

But should that something else be Noah's wife?

I just don't know.